To each dog his job
“Since when did dogs become handymen?” asks Terry Thelwell of North Ryde. “It seems like every man (and woman) now takes their dog to Bunnings. Do they give expert advice? Do certain breeds specialize in certain areas? For example, does your average Cavalier King Charles Spaniel like plumbing or electricity? [Now you’re just toying with us – Granny] Man’s best friend has now become man’s best profession.
Forget cubits (C8), Heathcote’s Dave Lewington believes: “If this weather continues, Col Burns’ tape measure should also include fathoms.” Woonona’s Russ Couch thinks Col should contact the PM: “I’m sure I heard ScoMo say yesterday that he was working on an ‘autocracy ark’. I’m not sure what kind of ship he has in mind, but it’s definitely some nuclear-powered, antediluvian thing of biblical proportions.
“Rick Stein’s shop in Padstow is currently closed and has a sign in its window: ‘Buy our fish online’. Really?” asks Marilyn Bell of Umina Beach.
Kerrie Wehbe’s (C8) Tuesday offering on “explaining column 8 to the uninitiated” has many readers offering their eight cents. While Gerringong’s Michael Fox describes it as “a forum for smart ass”, Rushworth’s Lance Rainey says: “Perhaps the uninitiated could be asked to imagine a politely modified toilet door – like the one I I once read in Sydney Uni which had a note at the bottom stating: “This toilet door will soon be available as a paperback edition”. Finally (for now), Geoff Nilon of Mascot says, “Column 8 is where thoughtful people go to laugh, after reading about the horror and stupidity of our world.”
“Continuing with mortuary humor (C8), when my father died in October many
a few years ago a call to the local funeral directors very solemnly informed us that as it was a long weekend they only had a small staff,” recalls Jenny Lynch of Mudgee. “Brighten the moment.” Doug Conkey of Wagga Wagga says that during a visit to the Cootamundra Funeral Home many years ago, “I was led into a room where there were a large number of caskets against the four walls. At my look of open-mouthed surprise, the funeral director said, “We could handle a massacre over here.”
“Latvia has changed the address of the Russian Embassy to Independent Ukraine Street,” reports Woy Woy’s Bruce Hyland. “Here’s an idea for Canberra.”
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